QUESTION: I’m having a dinner soon for some friends from ‘abroad’. If I know my brother-in-law, the subject of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is sure to come up. How can I make sure the party goes well? Are there some basic guidelines you can offer?
1. If you have guests of both Arab and Jewish persuasions, DO seat them next to each other, instead of across the table. This should help limit shin kicking and carrot flicking.
2. When the subject of Occupation first comes up, DO ask the speaker to define his or her terms.
3. If one of your guests raises their voice, DON’T raise yours; lower it instead! This will invite inquiry, and afford you an opportunity to announce that ‘dinner is served’.
4. DO try for clever segues. For instance, if someone mentions ‘Sanctions’, ask if anyone would like some ‘Sanka’. You’re sure to break the tension.
5. DON’T serve mushroom soup. DON’T ask why, just DON’T.
6. DO have some ‘War Movie Trivia’ memorized to change the subject. But stick to the less controversial wars.
7. DON’T encourage sing-alongs at the table, as these often end in tears.
8. If milk is spilled at the table, DON’T allow anyone to make an issue of who spilled it first. Unless it was you.
9. DO encourage views from all your guests, but only after clearing the cutlery.
10. DO remember that everyone loves chocolate, and that dessert can be used as leverage for proper behaviour in adults too!
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